Sunday, July 14, 2013

My stress and my guilt...

As an army wife, you would think I would be used to deployments, trainings and the weekends away, BUT I am NOT. My DH's first deployment was when we were dating and he was gone for one year. The second one came when we had been married for just 6 months and he was gone for 18 months. The last deployment with the training leading up to it lasted about 15 months and left me with an almost 3 year old and an 18 month old. During these years I didn't know when I would hear from my husband and I couldn't ever call him.

Those separations take a toll on the family. For my husband and I we seem to fall right back into our relationship almost as if no time has past, but there are subtle changes.One thing that has changed from our pre-deployment era is how my DH and I handle stress. We both internalize more than we should. He has his vices and I have my chocolate.

I share this with you so that the guilt of my confession today makes sense. My DH is at training this weekend and my stress level is through the roof! Emotionally, I get sent back to deployment mode and get really depressed. I can't call him and know he can't call until he is on his way home.

SOOOO....I broke down, had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a tall glass of chocolate milk. Now I feel guilty, but I want to be honest. This journey isn't going to be easy for me, yet I know that if I keep at it, it will be worth it!)

1 comment:

  1. Small slips happen on the trail to climb a mountain. With every step, slip, and fall the top seems to be out of reach. Have faith and persevere. When the top is reached, never will the view be better and the pain be so worth it, when the summit is reached!