I've learned a few things this past year or so since my last post.
- My idea of happiness is skewed. I have relied too much on others' approval and opinions. What is said about me and to me I seem to internalize and turn negative. In the past, I felt the need to please everyone.
- I see food as an indulgence not as fuel for my body. When I am alone I will over eat on foods that are far from healthy because I know that no one is watching. Sneaking gives me a false sense of power in my life.
- I have become what I used despised in married women. I don't take care of myself. I'm out of shape, out of style, and out of date. My children consume all of my time. My husband and I don't date each other or get out of the house.
I read an article last week that brought to light that I truly need to find peace within myself. I need to find me and what is good, beautiful and special about me. If I don't know what that is how can anyone else see it? I'm starting with small things, like reading my scriptures and praying. Giving compliments to my family and friends that I would like to have (modeling good behavior :-).
My thought is that if I feel better about myself I just may take better care of me which will lead to weight loss...